Rules Men Live By

Got sent this from a friend today. It was so funny I had to post it...

Rules Men Live By -
These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports - It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and if one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to
say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1 If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this..

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But
did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a
laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a
bigger laugh.

The New America

Tough times. And they look to be getting tougher.

In the county I live in here in Southern California, unemployment is at over 12%. Everywhere that you look are foreclosed homes for sale and empty commercial business properties for lease. If you are like me you probably know many people that have been directly affected by the loss of a job or loss of revenue at their place of business. It's hard to stay optimistic as we watch wave after wave of bailout money going out the door to inept and failing corporations, with dishonest corporate officers and politicians still playing games. Political Parties point the finger at each other and play party games in the media even though these rascals are all cut from the same cloth. People like Bernie Madoff steal people's life savings and leave them to a terrifying future in the most vulnerable years of their life. States like mine are bankrupt and rather than fixing the problems they cut things that matter like education and increase taxes on an already struggling populace. Crime is on the upswing, and it seems like it isn't even a shock anymore when you hear about a mother or father killing their own children. A popular punk band has a song that states "Welcome to the new dark ages..." I fear they may not be far off track.

Statistics show that fewer and fewer Americans profess to be Christian anymore. It's common knowledge within the evangelical community that Church attendance is on the decline. And although we are seeing more megachurches than ever before, most of those are either stable or declining in attendance, and many of the smaller Churches are dying. Secular culture is winning the battle for the hearts of Americans...

Secular counselors will tell you that they are inundated with desperate people right now. Folks looking for hope. Looking for answers. They have nothing left to hold on to. In truth what can a counselor offer them? A positive message? Some type of reassurance? Can they analyze their past and help them to feel better about their current predicaments? At best they can only console them. What our brothers and sisters need is the guiding hand of a Lord that can actually come to their aid. A power from on High that can step into their situation and work miracles. Join me in prayer for this great nation of ours. And let us also pray that together we as a body of Christ can help reach out to those who don't know the Lord and do our part in sharing the message of the Gospel. America needs it now more than ever.