Hands Free....

Ok, first off let me say that this is the start of my first "real" blog. I'm known to rant through the band newsletters, but from now on I'll try to limit the REAL madness to this place....

So I live in California. As you know, most ideas. good and bad usually originate from the West Coast and migrate East. So you have us to thank and blame for quite alot. Our newest stroke of genius is the "Hands Free" cell phone ban for drivers which recently kicked into effect. The concept sounds good, get cell phones out of the hands of distracted drivers, thereby improving highway safety, saving lives of countless citizens and bringing praise and honor to our glorious leaders that we have elected (or picked as the worst of all evils since you know we never have too much to choose from) and who are saving us from ourselves with their infinite wisdom. The problem is once again they seem to have just enough intelligence to be dangerous. Can you believe that the braniacs instituted a law in which you are banned from talking on your cell phone unless you have a hands-free bluetooth device, yet you can still legally TEXT MESSAGE! There is NOTHING more dangerous than text messaging while driving! And this is further confused by the fact that the studies that were done showed clearly that drivers were more dangerous not because they had a cell phone in their hand, but because they were distracted in conversation period. Therefore blue tooth devices are no safer than hand held setups. So we have politicians passing more ridiculous laws, unsupported by the studies that were done, and imposed on a public that they seem to have less interest in educating (remember this is the state that has now removed driver training from high schools, and also wants to give drivers licenses to illegal aliens).

I would like to know how much lobbying was done by the manufacturers of cell phone and bluetooth equipment to pull this one off. I smell a rat, and I figure it's lining the pockets of these fat cats in Sacramento.

I heard recently of a comedian that posted a clip on the internet of him driving "hands free". Evidently doing all sorts of things that were dangerous to prove the ridiculous point of this law. I haven't seen it but I love the concept. Since this law came into affect I was thinking of some other distracting and dangerous elements that we should initiate legislation for. So enjoy my list and let's get a petition going....

Children - these are VERY distracting. I have some myself. Always talking to you, asking questions, dropping things, needing to stop and go to the bathroom. I think they need to be banned from vehicles. Not sure how they will get around, but I'm sure that the legislature will figure that if they are forced to walk it will also help cut down on the childhood obesity epidemic and kill 2 birds with one stone.

Pets - that cute little ball of fur in your lap is more of a hinderance than an asset on the road. I don't care if it does fit in your purse. People thinking you two look cute together shopping at the mall is not worth the death machine you both create on the interstate. Let's leave the little fleabag in the kennel and go it solo by making them illegal.

Food - Sure. Breakfast bars sound great. A dinner on the run. But wait until you stuffing your face with this thing makes you take out a family of five on Route 66. Let's leave food where it belongs. Off our streets.

Makeup, shaving devices, and other assorted grooming materials - The only thing you are doing here is saving the mortician the work of prettying you up after the 12 car pile-up. Ban it!

Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Spouses, "Life-Partners", friends, relatives and significant others - Again, much yapping and danger going on here. The cars of the future should seat no more than one person at a time. C'mon automakers, maybe you can improve our gas mileage if we get out of the car! Let's hear it for no more passengers!

Radios - isn't this obvious? Maybe it's time they go the way of the dinosaur. Bring on the silence for safety's sake!

Air conditioning and heating - you can't tell me that fiddling with those temperatures and vents is a good idea in rush-hour traffic. Let's ban these distractions and instead encourage people to dress appropriately for the climate conditions. Ban it!

I could go on and on, but I'm not going to do the work for you. So get out there. Organize! Let's work together to see a safer tomorrow!